Sen. Larry Craig's List

Are we fed up with Republicrites thumping the bible while humping minors, guys in bathroom stalls, drugged out male prostitutes? An old French saying, "The hen who cackles loudest laid the egg."

Whole lotta cackling going on over in Republistan these days...

Autophobia and Republicans

Well, another one bites the, erm, dust on the Hill. Larry Craig's

career is going down, no pun intended.

Now, a lot of us were clueless about the Secret Toe-Tapping Signal used

by cruisers seeking Hot Bathroom Anonymous Action. Many of us were not

aware that the Minnesota airport restroom was top of the list for the

network of people seeking weird anonymous sex in public pooperies.

Note that I did not say "gay sex." Bathroom follies aren't necessarily

performed by gay men. Oh, absolutely not. A teen prostitute told me

once that most of his clients in the Bay area were family men who

disturbingly said, "You remind me of my son." Ick.

There's a saying about men, something to do with snakes, and holes

which might contain snakes. We are highly sexualized primates, like it

or not, and no amount of pontificating about family values and morality

is going to change that.

The problem I have with these repugnant hypocrites, or "Republicrites,"

isn't about gaiety. It's about the strident insistence that people who

love each other should be denied legal status because they both leave

the seat up. Haggard preached, but he certainly didn't practice.
Meth and male hookers, way to set an example.

And now the Bible-spouting little creepazoid is begging for support

money so he can attend a diploma mill and "counsel" drug addicts and

prostitutes. Sell your house, bitch! Get a job! You friggin

hypocritical parasite, if there were a god you'd be a smoking pile of

ass...err, ash, by now.

Foley championed the fight against the sexual exploitation of minors,

while trying to mine the children honored with the position of

congressional page. Old joke: Congressmen don't use bookmarks, they

just bend over a page. Hah. Hah. Hah. Where there's humor, there's

knowledge. But it took a big, fat Republicrite blowhard to really focus

attention on the problem.

And now Larry Craig, the tapdancing Senator, puts the 'ho in Idaho.

(hey, how about that for a license plate slogan? Beats 'Famous

Potatos,' don't you think?)

Family values: methamphetamine
Family values: sex with teens
Family values: bathroom cruising senators

If anything good comes of all this hot, anonymous man-on-man sex, it's this.
Our government has tried to avoid the HIV problem since it was

identified. Research is underfunded. Nobody cared, it seems, about a

bunch of homosexuals, hookers and junkies, AIDS was just God's

retribution for sinful behavior, so that's all right then, isn't it?

Just wait until one of these closet sex addicts starts showing symptoms

of HIV while still in office. Or one of their partners names them as

being a contact. Or, deity forbid, an innocent wife is infected by her

bible-thumping, hooker humping hubby.

You'll see some action then. All of a sudden, HIV and AIDS will no

longer be "somebody else's problem." It will be squarely in the laps

(eww) of these fag hatin, bible-thumpin, Jesus-invoking liars and

hypocrites.

As an amusing side note, USA Today had one of those awkwardly written

paragraphs that may inadvertently be more truthful than intended.

"WASHINGTON — Moments before Sen. Larry Craig held a news conference to

declare "I am not gay," Senate Republican leaders Tuesday requested an

Ethics Committee investigation into the Idaho Republican's arrest in a

public restroom."

With very little effort, this could be misconstrued to suggest that

they're planning to hold an Ethics Committee investigation in a public

restroom. I suggest we all chip in and buy the committee a box of

condoms. Who's with me?